Things Overheard at Dinner on Monday

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(I literally kept a notebook by the dinner table. This is to be read as fast as possible without taking any breaths or blinking)

Mommy what’s for dinner? I’m really hungry! Can I help you cook? Can I have a snack while I wait? I don’t want a cheese stick. Can I have something else? Can I have more bread?

Please stop running near the stove. No you can’t have cookies now.

Pee is COMING, Mom!!

Get off the kitchen table.For pete’s sake, step away from the baby! Dinner’s ready. Please come here and sit down! Put your pants back on!!

It smells like Taco Bell in here, did Jack poop?

Get your feet off the table!! Oh my word, these kids! I think I’m really loosing it. Why is  the PAM on the changing table? I have a fuzzy brain.

Stop putting ketchup on your feet!

Jack’s going to be short because he doesn’t eat!

Lord Almighty! Can’t I eat in peace just once?! How was your day at work? Oh.My.Goodness. He just dumped his smoothie on the floor, on purpose! Can I please have a chance to catch my breath? Great everything is cold.Now I’ve got to feed the baby.You’ll have to eat without me. Please just take two more bites.Stop talking with your mouth full. Get those greasy fingers off the COUCH!!! Go. Wash. Your. Hands. That’s enough soap, ENOUGH!!!

Mom, there’s a big booger coming out of my nose. It’s a green one.

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