Never have those words confused me so much or penetrated my heart as deep this past week. Pretty Princess has been irked out of her normal, calm & happy self to a grouchy fussy child who is absolutely refusing to nap or sleep. Up until yesterday, Camera Guy & I were functioning on a 3 to 3 ratio of sleep to days. Not. Cool.
Worse than the lack of sleep, was the horrible guilt and frustration we were feeling in not being able to help the situation get better. Aren’t we the parents? Don’t we have all the answers to make every boo-boo and scary dream go away? Didn’t our parents? How did they do it?
After numerous "sleep methods" including but not limited to, bribery, crying it out, sleeping in our bed, and the law of nature "she’ll get so exhausted she’ll just have to sleep". Nothing worked. So I trucked her off to the pediatrician’s office for an ear-check and a Lyme Test. Note to self: child working on no sleep, going to place she hates, getting poked with needles for blood = trip to H-E- double hockey sticks. As if I wasn’t feeling defeated enough, hearing the Dr. give me the wisest advice of "Well, the most important thing is to make sure she get’s some sleep" I nearly wanted to gauge his eyes out. Thanks, man. Glad I drove 45 mins and paid you 20 bucks to smack my head against the wall.
The only thing he did do for me, which has essentially saved my sanity (and Camera Guy’s) was suggest to use this amazing product, "Calm Forte" by Hylands. It’s a homeopathic blend of herbs to calm nervousness and relax you for sleep. That little tablet, paired with a huge dousing of holy water and endless rosaries, and talking through the potty training-night-time dilemma (which, we didn’t even realize was a huge part of the issue!) and Pretty Princess slept like a charm. The second night wasn’t as good, but she stopped loosing her mind everytime she awoke and instead remained calm, but awake and called out for us.
These events have stirred up such emotions in us, powerful emotions. Feelings of just wanting to do anything, anything for your child rather than have to see them so miserable and exhausted. Feelings that seemed akin to what Our Lord must have felt when he looked upon us with all our sins, that he wanted to do anything, whatever it would take… to make sure we wouldn’t suffer eternal death. Feelings of desperation. Feelings of total love, love willing to take on any sacrifice to make that boo-boo go away. So that must be it. That’s how they did it. That’s how our parents were always able to have the answers and to make it better. Their sacrifices of love for our sake became the catalyst of grace to get through the rough times. And what an amazing love that is! And what an incredible gift to be able to embrace and now share that with our children.