Pests, Pets & Kids

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I was grocery shopping the other day and as usual I had to run down the “baby aisle” quickly to grab some jarred food, diapers, etc. As I came around the bend, I noticed the aisle was particularly cramped with people. My initial thought was that a lot more people in this town had babies all of a sudden, but one glance at the scruffy man in a Carhartt jacket with a toothpick hanging between his lips made me re-evaluate what was really going on. I observed the shelves lining the “baby aisle” quickly as I maneuvered my way between some muddy booted guys, a very elderly lady with a mu mu on, and some tweens. It had never before occurred to me that the “baby aisle” was combined with the “pet food aisle”. I felt sort of dumb for a second.I was wondering why all these people, who clearly did not have infants, were in such a frenzy to stock up on binkies and butt paste!

Then my mind started jumping into hyperspeed as I connected the dots.
“Dog food and kitty litter in the same aisle as diapers and jarred squash? What are they trying to say here? That this is the aisle for dependents who can’t feed themselves or properly dispose of their waste without assistance? So my baby is equivocated to a cat? So my role as a mother of two living humans who have far more intellect, vocabulary and logic than your Beagle is considered (to the grocery store management) to be the same role as the fifty year old bachelor who has a penchant for collecting kittens? WHAT?!”

Of course I was offended. But of course this was hysterical as well. I couldn’t help but picture how that board meeting went which decided to merge these two aisles (as a side-note to my defense, I have been in quite a few grocery stores and normally I find the baby items merged with the hygiene aisle, or the organic food aisle or even the housewares aisle…but this really stood out to me as special so it really can’t be helped that it caught my attention) So how did that meeting go? Who was the genius that said
“Yeah, babies, dogs, cats….diapers, litter, and pooper scoopers…ya know…same thing.” I would really like to meet that manager. And introduce him to my kids.

In any case, I left in a flurry, dazed and befuddled by the logic behind that choice and grunting under my breath that at least they didn’t shelve the food right next to the litter. That would have been gross. Of course, as fate would have it…the very next day I was in need of some Pedialyte and found myself driving back to the grocery store again. I didn’t have much time, so I hurried in, with my head down (It was ‘No-Makeup Monday’- and that’s a different post for another day) made a beeline for the “baby aisle”, this time approaching it from the opposite end of my previous visit. As I shuffled into the aisle I quickly scanned the shelf for the item I needed, all I was seeing was jarred food and bibs.

“huh.” I thought, “Must be across the aisle”

I spun around expecting to see the drink I needed and nearly fainted at the site. This did not catch my eye the previous day because I was so caught up with kitty litter. This was directly across from the jarred baby food section, the ORGANIC jarred baby food section no less. This was stocked in such quantity that I started to write the manager a letter almost immediately in my head. This was: Raid. Insect & Pest, not repellent mind you, but bug killer products or “Kills Bugs Dead!” (as they call themselves!) Now that’s exactly what every Mommy wants to see in blaring red letters right across from all the baby food. Nice job.

We all know what Raid is, we know that is the total and complete opposite of anything organic, pure or wholesome…of anything you would associate with a BABY! Who was the guy behind this store layout?  How about this, if you must associate kids with cats, dogs & pests than how about putting the toxic stuff at the complete opposite end of the aisle? Not directly across from the food.

Am I jumping off the deep end here? Am I blowing this out of proportion? Should I just let it go? Is it just me that is not feeling the “baby” love from this store? Should I just forget about it? Maybe. But first I’m going to slap a pro-life sticker on my sweater, grab one of those jars off the shelf and march up there and offer that manager some lunch. We’ll see who thinks its gross to eat food that’s been hanging out with cat litter, dog food, & Deltamethrin then. Bon appetite!

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