Squash- A conversation

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The scene: Camera guy is putting Pretty Princess to bed. It’s the eve of Thanksgiving. The whole house is still, recovering from the daily trampling and festivities of childhood. The kitchen is finally cleaned. All is calm, all is bright. I take out the Butternut squash and decide to get a head start on the souflle that will grace the dining room table on turkey day. The process involves skinning the squash, chopping & dicing it up. I set it on the cutting board. I draw out the gleaming knife from the block and prepare to prep. In one swift motion, Camera guy enters the kitchen, gracefully takes the knife out of my hand and assumes position to take charge of the squash. Startled, but never fighting the chance to kick back, I let him take over. There is something in him, this quiet competitiveness that he has, that likes to "do" everything himself. Because he thinks he can do it the best. But whatever, I let him have his shot at my squash souffle. It’s not as easy as it looks.

After quite a while of him sawing away meticulously at the squash with minimal progress…I butt in my two cents:

"You should rock the knife back and forth like a see-saw. That’s what Rachel Ray does."

"That’s because she’s weak." His tounge is sticking out of the corner of his mouth and he’s got sweat beading on his forehead.

"You should try laying it on the flat side instead of the un-even one so it stays still. You’re going to loose a finger."

"You should wet the knife better."

"You should hold it a different way, or turn it to face the other end…"

After a few more minutes of tips and advice, I pipe up,

"Well, I don’t let me micro-manage your squash."

Finally, he finished it not as I would have done it, but with a different method which ended up working out pretty well.

"Wow! I’m impressed. Your like the squash man."

"That’s what they called me in the navy." My ever humble and satirical husband responds.

I whip out my notebook and jot down our conversation.

"Wait, are you actually blogging this?"

"Yeah, it’s funny talking to you."

"I am a blog post. Write that down."


Happy Thanksgiving!

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