Game Plan

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(Here’s a story that got lost in my notes from the summer!)

It’s 2pm.

The children (who have suddenly become deliciously lovely) are wonderfully asleep for their naps. I brought them to the park for over an hour, where they climbed, ran, and shook all their sillies out. Then I proudly kept them awake the whole drive home by belting out “Dancing Queen” at the top of my lungs and shamelessly flailing my hair about with the windows down. Once home, I stuffed their little Buddha bellies full of chicken fingers and noodles, put up the darkening shades, turned on the sound machine, unplugged the phone, changed the diapers and tucked them in bed.

What a glorious afternoon! Whatever shall I do with all this extraordinarily exquisite amount of time they will gift me with? Of course they will nap for 3 or 4 hours, I tuckered them out so well. The possibilities overwhelm me.

Read a book? Paint my nails? Surf the web? Blog? Make dinner? Call a friend? Do the laundry? Or I could possibly to ALL of the above! (sigh) It’s amazing what you can do with so much time!

This. Is. Great.

I think I’ll do a cartwheel.

It’s 2:45pm.

I just finished straightening up the whole first floor. Which included but was not limited to washing all the dishes, sweeping, re-tucking slipcovers, putting away books & all toy trucks, switching the wash, wiping down the stove and all other appliances that have also been caked with a slimy oil from sticky hands. The shoes were put away, the mail checked, the recyclables out, and the videos re-organized. I think I’m just going to clip some coupons, then I’ll curl up with a book and take a nap.

This is awesome! Finally I’m going to go sit down…

 

It’s 2:50pm

Princess is knocking on her door asking to come out. Oh no, she’s pounding.

I race up the creaky stairs and throw her door open, half shushing her, half grabbing her like a sack of potatoes and whisking her down the hallway. Apparently I have caused some emotional let down by not blissfully letting her pound on her door at rock concert volume as she bursts into very loud, very watery sobs. Right in front of her brother’s door.

Panic mode begins. And we hurry downstairs creakily.

Still crying. Cranky? Huh, maybe you should have napped.

It’s a little after 3pm.

Chubs is crying the “I was woken up from a perfectly awesome dream about a cookie” cry.

I’m about to cry the “I didn’t get any free time during my free time” cry.

Princess still crying. Something about wanting a watermelon and wants to go outside in her kitty cat pj’s with hot pink flip flops.

Also reaching into her diaper saying

“Mom it’s a big one, look”

No. No. No. Noooooooooo. I want my free time!

 

It’s 3:30pm, an hour an a half into awesome nap time projection of 4 hours.

Both kids are up. Whiny. Intermittently bursting into sobs over sippy cups with green lids instead of yellow ones, the graham crackers being all gone, or that I’m sitting instead of standing. Also that I’m wearing yoga pants instead of jeans. Sheesh. Tough crowd.

 

6pm. (When they were supposed to be awakening rosy, cozy and cheery)

Tornado hit kitchen. More dishes than I started out with are in the sink.

Wipes container has been emptied and strategically strewn all over the first floor to cause me to slip every time I turn around to cry.

Kitchen floor feels as crunchy as a litter box.

Slipcovers completely un-tucked. Front of fridge even more sticky. Pretty sure that’s a booger. If not, its a really sorry looking raisin.

Each and every toy truck we own is having a parade through the dining room.

Children are using shoes as more trucks for parades. Chubs is cracking up and chucking the clean laundry out of the basket and over his shoulder.

Videos are stacked also on couch. Some DVD’s appear to have teeth marks on them. Great.

Everything I accomplished during naptime is entirely un-accomplished and arguably in worse shape.

Bite lip to hold back tears. Haven’t sat down since breakfast. So much for everything I could get done in 4 hours.

7:30pm

After a horrendous dinner experience of rice & chicken (honestly, how the heck does rice get off the floor?) Put the house hastily back in order without half the care and perfection as before and throw kids in tub.

Camera Guy walks through door. Looks through the mail. Glances around the house. Looks up,

“Wow. Looks like you had an easy day, huh? The kids napped good?”

 

7:31pm

Sitting on the driveway in car with a glass of wine and chocolate ice cream. I’m off call for the rest of the night. Daddy just charmed his way into bedtime duty.

Ah. It’s amazing what you can do with so much free time.

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One thought on “Game Plan

  1. Haha…oh Annemarie, you are my hero! You know, if you leave the rice until the morning, it hardens so you can sweep it up 😉

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