Phone Call

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“Hi. It’s me. Um, I feel like really confused, I’m trying to do this maze on the back of the LIFE cereal box and I can’t do it. Literally. I mean this is like made for a third grader to do! What’s wrong with me? I used to be smart! Do I sound like a lunatic to you? Do you think I’m nuts? I’m thinking this isn’t going to be a good day…”

“Hi again. I need you to help me find my balance. I’m pretty sure I’m loosing my mind- I have been thrown up on, pooped on, and I have a raisin on the bottom of my flip flop that is sticking everywhere I walk.I tried doing the laundry but I forgot to switch the wet load from last night, which now stinks and needs to be re-washed, so now I’m backed up bigtime. I really feel like it needs to be Friday. Like right now. My brain is actually hurting from thinking about all the things I need to do..”

“HELLO? I just have to say this:This is the first time I peed today. It’s four o clock. My feet are killing me. I just realized I stand on the same four square feet of our kitchen space ALL DAY LONG. Oh geez, the kids just woke up. Also, I melted a pot in the oven. The whole house smells like chemicals, I think I shaved about 10 years off my life by inhaling those fumes. Oh, and a squirrel tore open our trash bags on the back deck. But I sprayed him with Lysol, so we might find a dead squirrel in the yard soon. Which reminds me, we have company coming tomorrow. (follow train of thought: dead squirrel in back yard=how I will feel after entertaining). You’re going to be home on time today, right??”

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