The other day I went out for Mom’s night. Because with young children, you have to go out with other moms of young children and pat each other on the back so you don’t feel like a total flop. This needs to happen at least once a month.
How do you know if a Mom’s night is right for you? A few simple questions will help you determine if you would benefit from Mom’s night.
- Do you frequently find stickers stuck to sticker-hating surfaces?
- Are your children having saggy diapers fall skip-it style around their ankles from their overconsumption of orange juice?
- Is one or more child having “teething temper tantrums”?
- Are you frequently constipated….in your brain?
- Do your children lick the grocery cart handles, right after you lecture them on the dangers of E.Coli?
- Do your kids play pretend and call you the “Mommy Monster” “the Old dinosaur” or something else insulting to your inability to be a morning person?
- Have you dealt with more than three potty accidents in
a dayan hour?
- Are you completely exhausted before you get out of bed?
- Do you find Blues Clues confusing?
- Are you tired, worn out, listless, unpoop-ular?
- Have you not had a solid 8 hours of sleep, since…. Um, you can’t remember when.
- Did you just find a petrified bagel under a crib?
- Has an infant in your home recently dumped all of your toilet paper into the toilet, then get caught eating it? (Please. Don’t ask)
- Did you injure your back teaching your kids Gangam style dance?
- Did a kid just poop in the tub while all of them were in it together?
If you have answered yes to any of these questions, then you need a Mom’s night out. It might be that time of the month for you. Call some moms you know, go to a restaurant, get a glass of wine and let it out. We are all here for you, for us, for each other. Sometimes all its takes is hearing someone else say that they shove toys under the sofa to “clean up” or that you aren’t the only one spanking your kid in the vestibule of church.
Mom’s Night Out. Because it’s cheaper than therapy.
This message brought to you by Midol.