Letters to Santa- Part 2

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Hi Santa,

I hope you are staying warm up there in the North Pole. It’s probably slightly warmer than the temperatures we’ve been having here in Wisconsin. Maybe you can relate, but despite the below zero degrees, I still love tormenting my Mom by dressing in shorts and t-shirts every day. No socks, either. Must be a chubby guy thing.

Anyway, I’ve been trying extra hard this year to be super good and very cute. It’s bit of a given, the being cute part due mostly to my Dad’s inherited curly eyelashes and chubby cheeks. While I have been doing really well being the first to listen and the longest to sleep in the morning, I am by no way trying to earn extra brownie points with Mom. Well, I might be, but I’m the middle child so that’s kind of a given.

I know I have to get better at my urge to dive off of furniture. And I should stop referring to myself as Superman, narrating my life in third person. (You have to admit though, life is way more exciting that way)And my bad habit of taking a whiz at 2am without turning on the bathroom light first. I had no idea how upset people can get when you make an honest mistake, for days in a row, of missing the bowl. Wow. Maybe you could bring my parents some Febreeze and Bleach? And really, I’m only 3 1/2. Does Dad really expect me to know what a Subway station smells like? Then why does he keep asking me if I want the bathroom to smell like one?

Also, I am aware that I spend way too much time loitering in front of the refrigerator waiting for it to open so I can hold out my cup for more orange juice. Apparently I have a drinking problem. Is 2 gallons of OJ a week really that excessive though? I ask, is my hydration really not worth it? Seriously. It’s like they expect me to drink water or something.

About that time I shoved an hand held air pump into my brother’s ear during his ear infection….I just ask you to please turn a blind eye, or a deaf ear for that matter.

Well, hopefully you’ll be on your way sooner than later! I wanted to point out one more thing I do: I have the courtesy to ask my Mom if its ok that I pee my pants at a friends house, before I actually do. Now if that’s not thoughtful, I don’t know what is!

Thanks from one big guy to another,

Mr. Chubs

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