So lately I’ve really had to stop and just shake my head. Sometimes it just hits me, I can’t believe the phase of life I am in. Didn’t I always just have widdle preschoolers, toddlers, who were cutesy wootsy bumbling little bambinos? Who were the reason I started blogging in the first place? Their crazy toddler shenanigans made me go “OMG” and the never ending age of toddlerhood was my life. Things like cloth diaper crazes and introducing foods, and teething and nursing and vaccines consumed my thinking. And now, it’s more of an afterthought.
“Huh. I suppose one or two crayons won’t hurt the baby….it’s just wax right?”
The things that consume my thinking now are loose teeth, homework, choir practice, internet filters, and learning to ride bikes. I look back on my past self and past posts and smile to myself,
” Silly, silly girl. You thought you were tired then…”
How can it be that in 7 short years, our world has completely and totally changed? It’s incredible but it’s a little crazy. I know everyone tells you ‘It goes by fast’ but when you are in the thick of it, it can be agonizingly tough sometimes. Slow even. Especially when everyone needs their diaper changed and no one knows how to read. Or talk.
But dude. Future Annemarie, it goes SUPER fast. Scarily fast! They babbled then, but they’re talking non-stop now. And they want to narrate every freakin aspect of their day,
“And then I opened my eyes and saw it was sunny so I got out of bed, but I really had to pee. Then we went downstairs and Charlie found where you hid all the granola bars! And then he and Jack ate the WHOLE BOX! Mom? Mom? Are you listening?”
Can’t get a moment’s peace to think for myself without someone interrupting. If I use the bathroom, it’s no longer cries of ‘MAMAAAA” for more cheerios, it’s shrieks of ‘HE JUST PUNCHED ME!” over who gets to wear the Batman cape. This is why I don’t enjoy roller coasters anymore. It’s risky enough just trying to use the toilet on my own.
They’re learning things like crazy, and beating me in checkers, and messing up my stuff….my stuff was never messed up or touched or moved because they were too little. Now, now I ‘loose’ things constantly because they take my things. They go into my closet and find my favorite scarves to use out in the tree house as lassos. They steal my belts to make dog collars on their dogs. Most of our clothing hangers are employed as guns, bow and arrows and swords down in the basement. Then dig through my nifty little pencil holder and loose every last writing utensil we own. They pour (and spill) lots of milk. They absolutely destroy the pantry and have made me want to order a padlock. Now they glom my computer, my phone, heck one of them keeps swiping my novels off my bedroom book shelf. I had to hide all my diaries! I’m pretty sure I used to buy myself 10 minutes of uninterrupted time with a cup of raisins. Now, they are way smarter than that.What is going on? They are turning into…. big people! I’m not quite sure if I’m ready for this.
Happen though it will, and adapt I must. Jack and Charlie hang over the edge of the choir loft looking down in the pews, and Charlie nudges Jack
” Hey! There’s that blonde girl!”
Charlie comes up to me,
courtesy of his Three Stooges saturation.
Mia corrects my grammar and checks my facts when I retell my day to Tom. She’s mastering the art of rolling her eyes at her brothers frequent and insistent practical jokes like when Jack pulls his pajama pants up to his neck and chases her yelling ‘I’m a turkey!’ She lowered her eyes quizzically at me the other afternoon, with one hand under her chin, leaning in close over the table,
“Mom. What does the tooth fairy really do with our teeth?’
My mind raced into ‘oh shoot’ mode. Actually, I now have to watch what I write here since nosy-pants is always creeping up behind me.
But I snapped back
‘Well how should I know? I’m always sleeping”
She narrowed her eyes, shrugged her shoulders and said
“Well on SuperWhy they said she grinds them up into sleeping dust to give us sweet dreams. But that sounds weird”
I agreed with her and made myself busy with something else.
Mayday!Mayday! Big kids getting bigger! They are catching on to my total un-coolness! Aren’t I still the college kid who had so much fun making people laugh and being goofy and ….and now…. the act is over! How on EARTH am I supposed to be the MOM to actual, big PEOPLE? Especially the ones who are starting to out-wit me?!
It’s on the job training I assume. (I hope)But one thing hasn’t changed with this phase of life. They are pretty hilarious. I mean, kids kind of can’t help it. So, still gotta laugh. Have to laugh, it’s either laugh it off or death by Legos at this point. #laughingisbetter
Also, if todddlerhood is funny, and bigger kids are hilarious, than it should follow that biggest kids (teenagers) are HYSTERICAL? Am I am right? Humor me.