Inevitable Things that I can’t stand

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(That I can’t find a solution to or haven’t found one that works)

  1. Damp bathmats
  2. Fruit flies
  3. Hemorrhoids
  4. Sticky floors
  5. Clutter
  6. Tomato sauce stains
  7. Clogged drains
  8. Stubbed Toes
  9. Getting junk mail
  10. Dry cuticles

Being the great guy that he is, Camera Guy got a hold of my notebook and jotted down his “solutions” for me to consider:

  1. Damp Bathmats=Damp rid & an open window
  2. Fruit Flies= Light them on fire
  3. Hemorrhoids= Stop having babies
  4. Sticky floors =Mop the floor
  5. Clutter =Throw it away
  6. Tomato sauce stains = Eat slower
  7. Clogged drains =Shave your head (shower) and stop pretending we have a garbage disposal (kitchen)
  8. Stubbed Toes =Steel toed shoes
  9. Getting junk mail =Remove the mail box
  10. Dry cuticles =Get a dishwasher

How It Really Went….

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During a frigid February week our fuzzi buns arrived. (That sentence just makes me crack up…) The kids were super excited by the gloriously vibrant colors and cushy-ness of the diapers. Pretty Princess grabbed one shouting

“It’s a pillow for my tushie!”
The colors were really awesome (they had better be, I sent them back to the company after they shipped us a dozen muddy brown & beige ones after we clearly ordered the “new vibrant shades” . I did not want the outer shells looking like what was going to be on the inside of them.) Anyway, we were all smiles and “ooh” and “yays” for about two hours. Then, I sat down to look everything over when I put the kiddos down for a nap.

Hmmm. I assessed my earthy organic box them came in. No instructions. “It’s ok,” I thought “That must mean they’re really simple. Or you just get some infusion of intuition on how to use them”

Ok. So I moved on to inspecting the liners. Hmmmmm. Some were wider than others and some were shorter, by about 2 inches. Again, no instructions so I wasn’t exactly sure which inserts to use. Still, I carried on.

On to the diaper shells. Cute colors, correct quantity and a plethora of replacement elastic bands to adjust the waist of the diapers. “Won’t be needing those for a while” I said as I chucked them into a basket nearby, catching a glance at the only piece of paper that came with the diapers : my 1 year money back guarantee.

But then I realized one of the diapers was already missing an elastic band. Actually it wasn’t missing, just off the button and lost in between the minute little fabric tunnel that it pulls through. I tossed it also to the side and let myself be down a diaper. There were no instructions and I wanted to move on to adjusting the diapers correctly so I could just pop em on the kids when they woke up.

Ah, but I began adjusting and realized that I had no clue what the different number on the elastic meant, which button holes correlated to which button or how to make them the right size.

I logged online to start looking up help via the web. Luckily, my friend Karen the cloth diaper queen happened to also be online! I jumped at the opportunity and starting asking her questions. After we messaged back and forth a couple times, I felt like I had this diaper thing in the bag. I signed off as the kids awoke and began cloth diapering.

A couple days later, Karen e-mailed me to check in on my vital signs. I mailed her back this accurate summary:

Day 1– I pretty much was like “These are from the devil!” because I sprayed poo all over my bathroom, didn’t fasten them correctly & had leaks, and one kid had them on WAY too tight. I tried not to panic as I knew I had destroyed any and all past evidence of disposable diapers. I told myself I was not stuck, that I could always back out the next day when I could run out for a “fix” of Pampers. For now, I had to truck through the evening without that luxury.

Day 2 I attempted a 1 hour out of town visit with them, still fumbled a lot, had some massive leakage with Chubs. Made quite a spectacle of myself “demonstrating” how “easy” and awesome cloth diapers are as I needed to use the host’s washer/dryer to clean my son’s clothes. Still feeling like they were going to ruin my life slightly.

Day 3- I actually feel pretty good with it, I figured out how to use the sprayer without making it look like a splatter paint party…and I got the elastics adjusted right! Woo hoo!

End of Day 3– Why did they poop so much today??? And why are these diapers stinking like a wet dog?

Middle of the night Day 3
– I must hate myself. I can smell those diapers from my bedroom.

Day 4– Visit to Mom’s house. Taught Mom how to use them. When I was unloading the stroller from the trunk, a magic pack of Pampers was discovered. I felt something in me leap for utter joy. I kept this discovery a secret though, and slipped a couple into my hoodie when no one was looking.

End of Day 4– Put them in the Pampers for the evening and did not have to do the wash! Did not tell anyone, kind of feel a little rebellious.

Day 5– I hate laundry, but I’m starting to get the hang of the diapers. The kids look really cute in them. Wonder if they make them for adults, ha ha.

Day 5, 1 minute later
– OMG, they do.

End of Week 1– Very tempted by the return policy, should I just quit and go back to normalcy?

End of Week 3- The buns stay. But we sporadically use disposables to “stretch” our laundry time (ie: oh yay! only 3 loads of laundry today because we used 2 disposables during the night!) Also, no more fuzzi buns on the road. They give me fuzzy brain. I really don’t like the idea of toting around a Shop Rite bag with sopping wet diapers in it for hours until I return home. And then forgetting them in the trunk of the car until I come across a couple of fuzzi–bunsicles the next day when I load up the car with groceries. I can’t think of anything more gross than when I defrosted the frozen soiled fuzzi buns. That was definitely not awesome.

End of month 1- In summary, they’re ok. They work for us because 98% of the time, it’s me with the kids, at home. So if we’re here anyway, they might as well be salvaging my precious disposables as much as possible. I can deal with the more complex diapering at home and I’d much rather be socializing with my friends while I’m visiting them, instead of washing my kids linen’s in their toilets. All in all, fuzzi buns gets four stars from me. One for appearance, one for convenience, and two for the $25 a week it’s saving us.